Week 5: Forgiveness
Carl Jung, the noted psychoanalyst, once wrote: “That I feed the poor, forgive an insult, and love my enemy – these are great virtues. But what if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and most impudent of offenders are all within me, and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness – that I, myself, am the enemy who must be loved. What then?”
Forgiveness is the key that opens the door behind which, your light and your shadows hide. When you open that door be warned, you may discover the source of your power and how immeasurable it is. Eddie and I often return to forgiveness (synonymous with patience, detachment and tolerance) when we get stuck in our lives.
We choose our own realities. I don’t think I really understood that until I came to a point in my “evolution” where I heard myself think/say I am finally ready to let go of the past, of all the past. And perhaps the future can take care of itself…this was a turning point in my journey of liberating consciousness.
Fear is the greatest hurdle to self-acceptance, love and freedom. Common symptoms of fear are anxiety, anger, hate, sadness, envy, and betrayal. We get locked into fear for many reasons, some of them being our attachment to the past, people and our desires. When the fear is too great the reasoning mind begins to fail and we experience powerlessness. To heal fear is to heal the wounds of emotional pain and remove the poison out. The easy way to do this is forgiveness. Forgiveness is a profound way to heal. Releasing the judge and the victim, we end the cycle of self-rejection so that self-acceptance can begin. If you want to move forward and step into your power… forgive. It’s that simple.
We often encourage our clients, trainees and anyone interested in radical change to undertake a forgiveness project. But first let’s be clear about forgiveness. For me, forgiveness is FOR – GIVING – LOVE, FOR – GIVING – TRUTH, FOR – GIVING – FREEDOM. Without forgiveness it is hard to be free of the past, free of the confusion caused by inexplicable circumstances or free to know what one is truly capable of. To forgive does not mean you like, trust or even want to spend time with that which hurt you; it simply means that you don’t want to be at the mercy of that which hurts. Forgiving whatever we did, whatever contributed to our present challenges, can help us discover inspired solutions. With forgiveness we stop perpetuating the cycle of reactivity (war). Forgiveness is that which allows us to complete unfinished business, to create our own miraculous happy ending. To forgive is to live in truth. It requires unflinching honesty and fearless Self-acceptance. Forgiveness keeps us from distorting our experiences and prevents us from deceiving ourselves or others. Forgiveness for all that we have done and all that we have not done frees us to be inspired to do what “needs” to be done now.
Lack of Forgiveness = Holding on and being stuck in the middle of the story and so remaining powerless.
Forgiveness = Freedom to complete the story and reclaim our power.
Of course there is so much more to forgiveness, including asking for forgiveness. We invite you to research this area further. To forgive, be forgiven, ask forgiveness, and be forgiving are worthy of in depth study.
“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”
— Khaled Hosseini
“Forgiveness is realizing that what you thought happened, didn’t.” — Byron Katie
“The unforgiven have no mercy to bestow upon another. That is why your sole responsibility must be to take forgiveness for yourself. The miracle that you receive, you give.” — Course of Miracles
“It takes kindness to forgive oneself for one’s life. Forgiving oneself requires the same compassion, understanding and insight we might apply to forgiving others. We come to recognize that we are perfect but not yet perfected — that we make mistakes and continue to learn as we stumble towards the light.” — Anne Truit
So now to the question, how do I begin? There are so many ways one can do this. Here is one simple exercise that you can trial for a week.
The LiberatingTouch® Forgiveness Sequence –
In its simplest form – While saying the 4 phrases below, hold (touch) Energy Balancing Locations, or use the LiberatingTouch R&R hold daily or whenever you require:
The 4 Phrases are –
What if I could forgive myself (my contribution/ my investment/ my desires / my attachments) absolutely now?
What if I could forgive others (the project / stress/ issue/ habit/ attachment / attitude / irritation) totally now?
Who would I be if I was free to understand, forgive and love now?
Am I willing to experience the energy of joyous loving forgiveness now?
That’s it for now. Hope you found this useful.