Reclaim your Power with Forgiveness, Love and Truth – Part 5

Week 5: Forgiveness

Carl Jung, the noted psychoanalyst, once wrote: “That I feed the poor, forgive an insult, and love my enemy – these are great virtues. But what if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and most impudent of offenders are all within me, and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness – that I, myself, am the enemy who must be loved. What then?”

Forgiveness is the key that opens the door behind which, your light and your shadows hide. When you open that door be warned, you may discover the source of your power and how immeasurable it is. Eddie and I often return to forgiveness (synonymous with patience, detachment and tolerance) when we get stuck in our lives.

We choose our own realities. I don’t think I really understood that until I came to a point in my “evolution” where I heard myself think/say I am finally ready to let go of the past, of all the past. And perhaps the future can take care of itself…this was a turning point in my journey of liberating consciousness.

Fear is the greatest hurdle to self-acceptance, love and freedom. Common symptoms of fear are anxiety, anger, hate, sadness, envy, and betrayal. We get locked into fear for many reasons, some of them being our attachment to the past, people and our desires. When the fear is too great the reasoning mind begins to fail and we experience powerlessness. To heal fear is to heal the wounds of emotional pain and remove the poison out. The easy way to do this is forgiveness. Forgiveness is a profound way to heal. Releasing the judge and the victim, we end the cycle of self-rejection so that self-acceptance can begin. If you want to move forward and step into your power… forgive. It’s that simple.

We often encourage our clients, trainees and anyone interested in radical change to undertake a forgiveness project. But first let’s be clear about forgiveness.  For me, forgiveness is FOR – GIVING – LOVE, FOR – GIVING – TRUTH, FOR – GIVING – FREEDOM. Without forgiveness it is hard to be free of the past, free of the confusion caused by inexplicable circumstances or free to know what one is truly capable of. To forgive does not mean you like, trust or even want to spend time with that which hurt you; it simply means that you don’t want to be at the mercy of that which hurts. Forgiving whatever we did, whatever contributed to our present challenges, can help us discover inspired solutions. With forgiveness we stop perpetuating the cycle of reactivity (war). Forgiveness is that which allows us to complete unfinished business, to create our own miraculous happy ending. To forgive is to live in truth. It requires unflinching honesty and fearless Self-acceptance. Forgiveness keeps us from distorting our experiences and prevents us from deceiving ourselves or others. Forgiveness for all that we have done and all that we have not done frees us to be inspired to do what “needs” to be done now.

Lack of Forgiveness = Holding on and being stuck in the middle of the story and so remaining powerless.

Forgiveness = Freedom to complete the story and reclaim our power.

Of course there is so much more to forgiveness, including asking for forgiveness. We invite you to research this area further. To forgive, be forgiven, ask forgiveness, and be forgiving are worthy of in depth study.

“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”
— Khaled Hosseini

“Forgiveness is realizing that what you thought happened, didn’t.” — Byron Katie

“The unforgiven have no mercy to bestow upon another. That is why your sole responsibility must be to take forgiveness for yourself. The miracle that you receive, you give.” — Course of Miracles

“It takes kindness to forgive oneself for one’s life. Forgiving oneself requires the same compassion, understanding and insight we might apply to forgiving others.  We come to recognize that we are perfect but not yet perfected — that we make mistakes and continue to learn as we stumble towards the light.” — Anne Truit

So now to the question, how do I begin? There are so many ways one can do this. Here is one simple exercise that you can trial for a week.

Video Links:


The LiberatingTouch® Forgiveness Sequence

In its simplest form – While saying the 4 phrases below, hold (touch) Energy Balancing Locations, or use the LiberatingTouch R&R hold daily or whenever you require:

The 4 Phrases are –

What if I could forgive myself (my contribution/ my investment/ my desires / my attachments) absolutely now?

What if I could forgive others (the project / stress/ issue/ habit/ attachment / attitude / irritation) totally now?

Who would I be if I was free to understand, forgive and love now?

Am I willing to experience the energy of joyous loving forgiveness now?

That’s it for now. Hope you found this useful.

 

 

Reclaim your Power with Forgiveness, Love and Truth – Part 4

Week 4: Seeing with the eyes of Love and Truth

Many of us when we look in the mirror see ourselves through eyes that judge, we are focused on appearances, we notice our age, the wrinkles, tiredness, skin deep beauty (or lack of), and so on. Every now and then we can see past the body-mind and something happens, we really see. And this can be a profound empowering experience. To truly heal the Self Sabotage Trinity of “I am not safe (secure, protected)”, “I do not deserve”, and “I am not worthy” and the related energy of “I am not good enough” we need to see ourselves anew, from different eyes, with the eyes of Love and Truth. To reclaim our power we need to transform our vision of ourselves.

This week’s exercise requires you to look in a mirror for a few minutes while asking yourself a few questions. We suggest you look specifically into your eyes as you do this exercise. It is a good idea to either hold hour fingers or tap on the collar bone as you engage with the questions.

This process is meditation; you ask yourself the questions in rhythm with your breath, while holding an area of your body without any requirement of an answer. We teach this as a part of Unconditional Listening in LiberatingTouch. It is a way of listening/seeing/paying attention from the heart. It requires us to drop our awareness from the thinking mind to the expansive heart centred coherence.

Many years ago, when I taught art students one of the first exercises I took them through was about learning how to breathe and see. I asked them to inhale and exhale, close their eyes, let their entire learning drop away and when they opened their eyes they were to imagine seeing the world afresh, anew, to feel, to touch, to sense without labels… to see through the eyes of the heart, to reach into the depths of their being and feel the breath between the spaces of life and to open their vision. I ask you now to do the same when you look in the mirror. Look in the mirror and imagine you could meet all your stories and judgements with Meditative Inquiry and Unconditional Listening. What would happen if you could see yourself with the eyes of the Love and Truth? Can you look deeply past the multitude of reflections, past what changes, and find the one Truth? Can you see the tapestry of Love that you are? Would that empower you?

Here is the LiberatingTouch® Sequence for Seeing the Self (for transforming your vision). Look in the mirror while holding your fingers or tap on your collarbone and ask yourself these questions:

What if I could see this reflection with the eyes of Love today?

What if I could see deep within, with eyes of awe, with pure gratitude and see the Self?

What if just for this moment, I could completely appreciate this reflection?

What if I could let go of all my judgements (opinions) and really, really, look into these eyes. Can I find the joy of understanding?


It is a good idea to do this exercise daily for a minimum of a week. That is it for now till next week. Thank you for participating.

 

Reclaim your Power with Forgiveness, Love and Truth – Part 3

Week 3: Investigating the Self Sabotage Trinity

This week we will take a look at the three common beliefs that rob us of our power. These are “I am not safe (secure, protected)”, “I do not deserve”, and “I am not worthy”. I call them the self-sabotage trinity as they often underlie the resistance that prevents us from recognising our potential and power. These 3 beliefs also feed the debilitating “I am not good enough” mentality, which is quite literally scarcity consciousness about the Self. I could write volumes about how these thoughts impact our self-confidence and our healing capacity, but in the interest of keeping these blog entries short and practical, let’s focus on what we can do to investigate these disempowering beliefs, and explore a practical application for creating a shift in our thought processes.

This week’s exercise is to use the R&R hold every day while bringing our awareness to dwell on the three beliefs: “I am not safe (protected)”, “I do not deserve”, and “I am not worthy” and then swap our hands around (see the videos below for details) while focusing on: “What if I am safe (secure, protected)”, “What if I do deserve”, and “What if I am worthy” and finally one last time on: “Thank you SELF (God, Presence, Creator-Source, Beloved Heart) for helping me realise that I am safe (protected)”, “I do deserve”, and “I am worthy”.

You may notice that one of the three beliefs has a greater charge (challenging intensity) for you. Use the sequence from last week, the LiberatingTouch® Sequence for Trials and Tribulations with the issue, for example if you notice “unworthiness” is an issue for you then you can:

Hold the fingers whilst saying the following phrases

Hold your THUMB (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could release all my anxiety about _________’unworthiness’_________?”

Hold the INDEX finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I was no longer afraid of _________’unworthiness’_________?”

Hold the MIDDLE finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could let go of all my anger in relation to _________’unworthiness’_________?”

Hold the RING finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could acknowledge all my grief in relation to ________’unworthiness’_________?”

Hold the LITTLE finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could know the Love and Truth of the Universal Self within me, guiding me whenever I engaged with _________’unworthiness’_________?”

Here is the video link with the LiberatingTouch® Sequence for Trials and Tribulations.

And that’s it for now. Till the next week. 😉

Reclaim your Power with Forgiveness, Love and Truth – Part 2

Last week we worked with a sequence that allowed us to admit to the “stuff” in our lives that troubles or distresses us. The “Admittedly” Sequence was a warm up, allowing us to be open and honest with ourselves in a compassionate manner. Its purpose was to give us permission to invite the issues and acknowledge where we get stuck and where we lose power. Most importantly it was to help us find that there is something, within us, that is loving, truth seeking, forgiving, and kind (perhaps this can lead us to the source of our power ;-)).

Here is a short movie (44 seconds) with four more “admittedly” phrases for you to play with before embarking on the exercise for week 2.

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Week 2: Discovering where in our lives we experience powerlessness and practising meditative enquiry.

The exercise for this week entails us tuning in to the area in our lives where we experience powerlessness. To open your awareness of where this may be, you can cradle the front and back of your head with the LiberatingTouch® R&R Hold, (as illustrated in the video below), while saying the following words:

“I am open to being aware of how, when and where in my life I feel powerless.”

Wait a few seconds for the answer. If nothing appears in your mind’s eye, simply allow your awareness to visit all the areas in your life that may be troubling you, whether is it your finances, family, children, partner, sexuality, body, health, career, creativity etc. Whatever shows up first, focus on that particular issue for this week while using the LiberatingTouch® Sequence for Trials and Tribulations.

This is a good process to do with issues that you do not want to face or experience; for issues that you resist, for the challenges in your life that you wish would disappear, for what pains you, for the areas in your life that you want to control. It is for facing your personal devils – or more accurately— whatever makes you believe that you are helpless or powerless.

Step 1 — Tune into the issue using the R&R hold as described above

Once you articulate it, e.g. ‘Conflict’ or ‘Debt’ or ‘Name of the person’ or ‘Inadequacy’ or ‘Rejection’, simply fill in the blanks with the chosen ‘issue’, then read out the statements while holding the corresponding fingers.

Step 2 — Hold the fingers whilst practicing Meditative Inquiry

Hold your THUMB (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could release all my anxiety about ____________‘issue’____________?”

Hold INDEX finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I was no longer afraid of ____________‘issue’____________?”

Hold MIDDLE finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could be let go of all my anger in relation to ____________‘issue’____________?”

Hold RING finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could acknowledge all my grief in relation to ____________‘issue’____________?”

Hold LITTLE finger (either side) for a couple minutes and articulate the following gently:

“What if I could know the Love and Truth of the Universal Self within me, guiding me whenever I engaged with ____________‘issue’____________?”

Step 3 — Now check your thoughts, emotions, breathing and body sensations. Do you feel more relaxed, more able to face your devil?

Step 4 — Repeat daily 😉

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That is it for now till next week. Thank you for participating.

 

Reclaim your Power with Forgiveness, Love and Truth

We invite you to join us for the next 7 weeks, for 10 minutes a day to reclaim your power using LiberatingTouch® and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). The plan is to keep it simple and share effective practical exercises to do each week. For those of you that would like some background information to LiberatingTouch and Energy Psychology, I suggest checking out our website www.emotionalhealthcentre.com for the Introductory Manuals on EFT and LiberatingTouch. For the rest of you, let’s dive in:

Important Note before we begin: By participating in this program you have agreed to the guidelines, disclaimer and release agreement and have accepted full responsibility for using them. Thank you.

This program is not the definitive recipe to reclaiming power, but an exploration of infinite possibilities.

“We are not victims; we are powerful beyond measure. Even if we forget this, even if circumstance, memory, thoughts keep us replaying the roles of a victim we can always wake up from this trance of material identification; we can reconnect to the Truth. We can shine the light of awareness, dispelling the darkness of our fears and illuminating the infinite power of the Heart. We can shake off the lies of powerlessness like a lion shakes his mane and roar with the certainty that we are Divine.”

POWER

One of the preliminary steps towards Self-realisation is to work towards the infinite power within man. This infinite power is also known as the divine Cosmic power. What is this Cosmic power? The Cosmic power pervades the entire universe and is not different from that in man. The sun derives its energy from this Cosmic source. It is the same Cosmic source that accounts for the power of the human mind and the marvellous power of the eye to see the most distant stars. Even though invisible, it is like electricity flowing in the cables which is only apparent when one switches on the light, appearing dimmer or brighter depending on the wattage of the light bulb. This boundless power is recognised and exercised by each one according to the level of his/her development. Just as the same electrical energy is used for a variety of purposes, for example, heating, lighting etc., likewise, the divine Cosmic energy in human beings is used by different individuals for varied purposes. This energy is latent in all beings. How do you manifest this divine Cosmic energy? You have to start with building up your own personal power.

PERSONAL POWER

This is the power you use to accomplish your daily living and any other pursuits or endeavours imbued with your intellectual knowledge or physical strength. Our lives are influenced by beliefs and conditions that help or hinder us at every turn, even though we are not always aware that we have created them ourselves. These beliefs and conditions are the cause of self-sabotage and no one is to blame, even though we consistently point our ‘fingers of blame’ at others. We have created by consistent, and usually negative, behaviour patterns, filters within our mind that cause us to behave in a way not consistent with our own truth. For example, we may lie because the ‘filter of fear’ makes us shy away from the consequences of our actions. This in turn adds more energy to fear and robs us of our self-confidence and we lose our power. We have many such conditions we have created from childhood that have taken power away from us.

Most of us believe that we have finite power i.e. intellectual or physical. So, we work within the constraints of our belief system. How do we recognise that our belief systems are false? If we have an experience that runs counter to our own belief systems, would we still hold that to be true? For example, there are instances where a mother lifted a car or other heavy object to save her child trapped underneath it. In normal circumstances, even a very strong man would be unable to lift it. The ability of the mother to accomplish that feat is purely the result of the suspension of her belief system that it was beyond her ability. We have conditioned ourselves to believe that we are weak and powerless, but we are infinitely more powerful than we dare believe. When we come into our personal power, we also become true to our SELF. Then, we won’t feel the need to control anyone, as TRUTH need not defend itself.

We need to reclaim our personal power this will help us recognise that we are not confined to time and space, we are neither the body nor the thoughts that come and go. This self-empowerment helps open our awareness to the Cosmic power within us. We are limitless consciousness experiencing a dream born of infinite love emerging from Truth.

Here is the first practical exercise:

Week 1: Admitting where we are at.

Once we can admit to ourselves how, where and when we feel powerless (feel ashamed, guilty, helpless, attached) we can take positive action. This week we focus on admitting to ourselves the mistakes we have made, the mess we are in, the habits we hold onto, all the things that rob our power and yet we can forgive, love and embrace ourselves. The ‘admitting’ is great. It works like a truth or dare game (it reflects one of the foundational principles of EFT – saying it like it is) and the sentiment, “I can’t help but love myself”, seems to always bring a smile to the surface. Play with this exercise using EFT or LiberatingTouch for 7 to 10 minutes every day for one week.

The main phrases that we will practice with are:

Admittedly ________________ (fill in the blank) ______________ I can’t help but love myself

or

Admittedly_________________ wouldn’t it be wonderful if I can’t help but love myself.

Here are more phrases to “play” with:

Admittedly I feel powerless and limited, what if, I can’t help but love and forgive myself?

Admittedly I get stressed and flustered and peeved, I can’t help but love myself.

Admittedly I desire wealth and am attached to comfort, yet I can’t help but love and forgive myself.

Admittedly I feel guilty for so much in my life, wouldn’t it be wonderful if I can’t help but love myself.

Admittedly I made a mistake, wouldn’t it be wonderful if I can’t help but love myself.

Admittedly I am attached to my opinions and limitations, what if, I can’t help but love and forgive myself?

Admittedly I am flawed and not the most beautiful being on this planet, what if, I can’t help but love myself?

That is it for now. Thank you for participating.

Conversations on Desire –Part 2

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“Recognize the Divine within yourself. Open the doors of your heart. Develop love more and more. Understand the truth. Experience God. There lies the bliss. Make every effort to understand the immanent Divinity. The Divinity within you is covered by ego and anger. Therefore, real knowledge dawns when attachment is destroyed (Moham hithva punar vidya). Where does this attachment come from? Excessive desires lead to attachment. You may attain temporary peace by undertaking repetition of the name (Japa), meditation (dhyana), and yoga. To attain permanent peace, you must develop love within. Love can turn earth into sky and sky into earth. This sacred love is within you. But, you direct it in the wrong direction and thereby it gets perverted. Develop the sacred Love within you to realise your innate Divinity.” Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Is desire born from a feeling of deficiency or lack?

At its most potent and positive, desire arises from the innate yearning of all beings to experience and express profound unconditional love in all things and situations. Through the many life experiences of the individual, these positive yearnings have been tarnished by untruths that propagate notions of deficiency and lack. Part of our journey in understanding desire is being able to discern the origins of our desires. Are the desires coming from this innate (divinely placed) requirement to unify in Love, which we experience as Inspired Desire, or are they coming from social, ancestral, cultural, inherited, behavioural conditioning, which we describe as environmental desire. The latter often feeds the energies of disappointment, fear, attachment and separation and inculcates lack as real. While the former, Inspired Desire is born of Love’s longing to love itSELF. So to answer this question one needs to be clear about the nature of desire itself.

Who is the author of our experiences?

Everything in our life occurs because we created it, desired it, chose it and just by owning them, we change the way the laws of action and reaction (karma) function in our life. As we become aware and self-responsible, we can ask for inspiration, understanding and healing. As we acknowledge the consequences of our thoughts, words and actions we become free to live a life that has honesty, authenticity and integrity as its bedrock.

 What stands between me and the fulfilment of my desire?

It’s relative to where you are on your journey and to your understanding of desire. Ignorance is the hurdle.

Initially, there is the desire to fulfil material wants, in the form of acquiring power, wealth, spouse, progeny and comfort, in the drive to attain happiness. These desires are influenced by the tendencies (vasanas) from actions (karma) in past lives (samskar).

What matters is paying attention to your desires, investigating their origins, surrendering them and asking the Higher Self how best to meet them. Desires help us journey, grow and learn… they take us on an adventure so that we can experience the many facets of creation and in the process discover our innate wisdom, deepen our understanding and eventually propel us to investigate our true nature.

As awareness blossoms in the fullness of time, the wisdom within will guide the seeker to know that what they desire, is not outside themselves, but the SELF within.

 

Thank you to those of you that emailed us these questions, it gives us a chance to ponder and consider how best to succinctly answer these ancient philosophical conundrums. Do feel free to send us more…. These questions and answers are discussed in-depth in our Heart of Understanding 8 day Class. http://emotionalhealthcentre.com/ltworkshops.html We invite you to join us.

Conversations on Desire – Part 1

Conversations on Desire – Part 1

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What exactly is desire?

Desires can be defined as wants, needs, wishes and deep longing. The mind is a bundle of desires, an amalgamation of attachments and wants. If the mind is not trained to detach, it can become enmeshed in suffering, fear, anger, grief from unfulfilled desires and pain from attachments.

Desire is the reason we return to this dream existence (Creation) over and over, it is the longing or hankering for fulfillment. Eventually we experience the desire to know our Truth. To know; “Who am I? Where have I come from? Where am I going? What is my purpose?” These latter desires paradoxically help us transcend the mind.

There are many kinds of desire:

There are physiological desires, i.e. hunger, thirst, excretion and sleep. There are mental-emotional desires, i.e. approval, appreciation, recognition, fulfillment, happiness.There are societal and cultural desires, i.e. uplift, fitting in and following the norms.There are spiritual desires, i.e. wisdom, truth, to know our origins, to know God, know the SELF.

The nature / purpose of desire is to take us on a journey to know the Self.

The importance of acknowledging your desires

Desires are just desires. They are not good or bad. Initially, we need to become aware of them, then acknowledge and own them and finally either fulfill them or seek guidance from the Self and surrender them. When the time comes, they will either be fulfilled, you will transcend them or they will simply fade away. Seeking help from the Self makes this process effortless. If you make the choice to become aware of your desires, you can own and surrender them. You can ask for guidance and inspiration and the guidance will give you what you require, whether it helps you to fulfill your desires, let them go, or overcome them. Only by acknowledging your desires do you have the power to learn from them.

Many people are unconscious (unaware) of their desires and these hidden wants, become invisible drivers, that then control them, their decisions and lives. By becoming aware of our desires we enter into a place of power. More in our next blog…

Is desire born from a feeling of deficiency or lack?

Inspired desire, Environmental desire?

Who is the author of your experience?

Liberating Partnerships – Drawing on Grace

ed&ran218 years ago Eddie and I were brought together by our beloved Guru. Little did we know that we would one day be living by the seaside, co-creating LiberatingTouch®, writing books, facilitating seminars, and connecting with so many extraordinary people.

Getting here was not easy and for the first 9 years we were not sure if we could sustain a relationship let alone be partners. What kept us going was the knowledge that we were put together by God. We had to learn the art of communication, sacrifice, patience, trust and understanding. Through our tussles and adventures together we developed greater insight into the personalities we had adopted, the desires and fears that lead us away from each other and the attachments that muddied our vision. The next 9 years were easier, still challenging at times, but we had more clarity, willingness and humility to let go and stay open. As I write this I wonder what the next 9 years have in store for us. It’s very exciting.

Eddie and I have noticed that when we work together, we form a conduit to access Grace. The Grace we experience manifests as wisdom, abundance, understanding and the means for Self Realisation (for example LiberatingTouch®). We draw and share that Grace with others. Everyone we connect with, can in turn use this for themselves and others. They too then create liberating partnerships and draw on Grace.

Nowadays, we work with people that are intent on creating Liberating Partnerships. When working with couples, Eddie and I focus on helping them find ways to listen, and dialogue. We show them how to use Jin Shin Jyutsu and LiberatingTouch®, which can act as a healing balm. Our first goal when working with a couple, is to find something that is relaxing for both partners and something that they both enjoy doing. We explain that the way we work, is for partners to discover what makes them happy and what saddens them and find ways to heal, in order that they can continue to grow. After the sessions, they either grow closer, or they grow in different directions. The focus is on self-knowledge, awareness, freedom, friendship and self-fulfilment.

One of the most difficult challenges in any relationship is that of accepting each others’ limitations. When we accept these limitations, somehow we open the door to limitless honesty, love and possibility. This is the paradox of all relationship.

Here are 4 vital requirements for creating a Liberating Partnership:

1.      Letting go of Expectation (Developing Understanding)

2.      Sharing Responsibility

3.      Communicating Honesty, Integrity and Trust

4.      Self Confidence

You are going to feel and think differently (and sometimes at odds) from your partner, this is a given; what draws the miraculous and mysterious magic into a relationship, is the inner yearning for UNITY, oneness with God – the Creator Source. At the heart of our partnership, is the undying Love that longs to know and merge in Truth. The song the river sings on its way to the ocean.EddieRanjana

My first post for the Appoo blog

Putting together this blog site, has been challenging. There is always a learning curve with all new things. This has been no different. However, it is fun to see this site published after all the effort.TREE

Our master Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, says that nature is our teacher. He also says, that nature is the manifestation of GOD. GOD is LOVE and TRUTH. We use the symbol of the TREE as the symbol for GOD or the Higher (Universal) SELF. The TREE has been used as a symbol in many cultures, for thousands of years. We use the TREE as the main symbol in LiberatingTouch®.

Eddie

12/6/2013